


Don't Destroy My Wall (Levi x Erwin)

by LeviJeager



Category: Attack on Titan, Erwin smith - Fandom, Levi Ackerman - Fandom, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Yaoi - Fandom, eruri - Fandom, erwin - Fandom, levi - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:48:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5825608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviJeager/pseuds/LeviJeager
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin goes on a mission in the underground yet gets distracted when he sees someone get forced into sexual activities in the middle of the streets by a group of men. Despite the fact it’s not his business he jumps in and saves the guy, only to find out he has no home. So he takes him back to the Survey Corps and makes a soldier out of him. But there’s more to it then he’d expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

No home. Levi didn’t have an home. It’s not like he’d never had one. He had had a home until his mom died. Then he’d lived with his uncle on the streets for a while, but the old man got himself killed leaving his, back then 13 years old, nephew behind. Levi tried to make a living using everything his uncle taught him, but it was far from easy. The streets were dangerous all the time and stealing wasn’t as easy as it used to be anymore. The last thing he wanted was to end up in prison and end up being executed. In the last couple of years they got more strict because the underground was out of control. It still was and it always would be because well, people didn’t want to live like this. 

Though had home ever been home? Home had more been his mothers office than an actual home. She worked as a prostitute, unable to find any other job. The apartment they lived in had been very small. There was a living room with a kitchen connected to it and two separate bedrooms. Levi would be forced to stay in his own bedroom and be quiet while his mother “worked” in her own. Levi didn’t know who his father was, but at a cetain age figured out it could possibly be one of the men walking into their house on a daily basis. His mom made sure to keep him hidden from her costumers however, scared that if she’d get on bad terms with them they’d use Levi to get to her. Levi had been the only thing she cared about. At least he’d known what it was like to be loved.

It was unfair. People that were born here would most likely die without ever seeing day light. To go above ground you had to pay a high price and most people returned to the underground anyways because they were not given permission to stay above. They only were allowed to if they were needed and well, the skills most people knew of in the underground weren’t things they wanted above.

When stealing wasn’t an option anymore, Levi rolled into prostitution at the age of 15. Now 18, that was still his life and it was absolutely horrible. He carried a book around with names and addresses for where he had to be at what time to get used and mostly abused as well. He’d receive some money and if he was lucky he was allowed to stay the night and didn’t have to sleep on the streets. Sometimes he wondered why he was still trying to survive. He disgusted himself, being used by at least 12 people a day, being forced into things he didn’t want to do, having no home or no one that cared about him. He wasn’t sure if he even cared about himself anymore.. So what was the point? He didn’t quite understand. 

He was wandering the streets, trying to kill time seeing he didn’t have an appointment until 10 o’clock which was still 3 hours away. He was starving, yet didn’t have any money to buy some food and eventually ended up sitting in an alley as he slept away some time. Sleeping was something he liked. His mind would take him away from this horrible place and imagine what the above ground would be like. He’d picture the sky and imagine running through grass. Titans didn’t exist despite the fact he knew they would be there, behind the walls. But it was okay, when he was dreaming, everything was okay. Until he woke up and reality came knocking at his door again. 

Waking up he realized he slept in and was late. “Shit.” He cursed to himself as he stood up and brushed the dirt from his clothes. It didn’t make much sense however. His clothes were pretty much always dirty and even if his clothes were to be clean, he’d still feel dirty. Truth be told, Levi absolutely hated to be touched. Not just in a sexual way, a hand on his shoulder was already too much. It would send shivers down his spine and anxiety through his bones. Doing the job he did, the anxiety was always there putting him in some kind of daze that somewhat made it easier to get the job done. It still scarred and hurt him however. 

He started to walk into the direction of his costumers house on a steady pace. He’d probably receive less money now he was late, but hopefully, the man wouldn’t send him away and search for someone to fuck. That would mean he wouldn’t be able to buy food until tomorrow and he wasn’t sure whether he’d be able to handle that seeing he hadn’t eaten in almost 1 ½ days and he hadn’t paid for the apple he stole knowing the risk. He didn’t steal often anymore, but he’d felt like he had no other option even though Levi was aware you always had an option.

Levi was skinny. Extremely skinny. It was pretty clear he was poor and lived on the streets. He was small as well, only 160 cm’s long which due his skinny figure gave him a child like appearance if you didn’t look at the sharp features in his face. His childlike appearance however was what got him many costumers, which was pretty sick in a way. It only made him feel worse about the people that touched him. They were truly disgusting. 

“Hey you!” Levi slowed his walking, somehow knowing whoever was calling out was calling out for him and he knew who the voice belonged too. The guy who owned the shop he stole from a couple of days ago. He decided to pretend he didn’t hear anything and kept walking, but listening closely he knew the man wasn’t alone. He cursed under his breathe and stared walking faster yet knew they’d soon catch up with him if he didn’t start running already. So that’s what he did. 

He was fast, but weak. At some point, his legs gave out which didn’t surprise him. People living underground often seemed to get problems with their legs and Levi was no different. He couldn’t afford surgery and knew it would only get worse. “Gotcha.” The man said, pulling his head up by yanking at his hair causing Levi to wince. “Is it him?” Someone else aksed. “Yeah it is.” The man huffed. “You’ve got a debt to pay boy.” He spat at Levi who tried to squirm away yet couldn’t. His body was letting him down. His legs refused to move and his arms felt like there was no strength left in them. He managed to turn around and tried to crawl away, but the man tightened his grip. The other 2 men gathered around him. “Now I know how you make your money, so how about you settle your debt that way huh?” He asked, yanking Levi’s pants down.

He didn’t want this. He absolutely didn’t want this, but he wouldn’t tell them or start crying. Despite having to do low things like selling his body to men he still had some pride left in him and even though it was about to be taken away he wouldn’t let go of it just yet.

The man was about to yank his pants down further when Levi watched one of the other two guys get hit and fall on the ground in front of him. The next one quickly followed. Then the man on top of him got pulled off him. “How about you pick on someone your own size?” A low voice stated, before slamming his fist in the guys face. Levi turned around and faced a blonde man who’s hair was far to neat for him to live around here.

He slowly walked over to Levi and helped him stand up, actually pulling up his pants as Levi stood there on trembling legs. The man wasn’t wearing an uniform, but he wasn’t from here either, Levi was sure of that. He was probably trying to blend in for some reason, not knowing his hair pretty much gave it all away.

“Are you okay?” He asked looking down at Levi. Levi looked up, realizing how tall the man was. “I’m fine.” He said quietly before scoffing. “Why don’t you mind your own business?” The man seemed surprised by his blunt reaction. “Excuse me?” “Why did you interfere? Things were totally fine.” “No they weren’t.” “I stole from him, he got back at me. It’s how things go around here.” Levi pointed out, glaring at the guy who (literally) just saved his ass. “How about a thank you?” “Tch.” Levi scoffed. “I don’t thank brats from above ground.” The guy frowned, probably wondering what gave him away. “Your hair, dipshit.” Levi stated, answering the unasked question. The man sighed. “You should go home before they wake up.” “Like they won’t get to me another time.” The way the man eyed him.. It was strange. “Besides, I have work.” Levi said, turning around, but the man grabbed his wrist. Levi groaned and turned around. “You wanna die or something?!” He yelled, pissed off at this point. This man saw his vulnerable side and he absolutely hated it. The man turned his hand around and put money in it, pretty much the amount that could keep him alive for a week here. “Let me have you for 2 hours.” He said. “That should be enough to take you to the city up those stairs..” He pointed at the stairs everyone hoped to climb today. “And get you a new job..” Levi chuckled sarcastically. “Very funny. And what would that job be?”

“I’m going to make a soldier out of you.”

He was so taken aback by the response he didn’t answer.


	2. Chapter 2

Erwin Smith, 13th commander of the survey corps. Levi still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He ended up meeting a commander underground, who saved his ass and then took him above ground to offer him a job he had no experience in whatsoever. He’d been given a room separated from the other soldiers. Until now he’d only met one, Hanji, a woman obsessed about Titans. She brought him food every morning, afternoon and evening while trying to befriend him but Levi would shut her up easily and only listen to the messages Erwin told her to pass through.

Long story short, Erwin saw something in him. According to Hanji it was the way he controlled his emotions which could come in handy in battle. She believed that his length and slim posture could make him able to move extremely fast if he wanted too. He’d just have to train for the fighting of course. Levi still didn’t get it, but he was sure of one thing. Whatever Titans were, he’d rather be eating by one then spend one more day underground. 

He was laying in bed feeling rather depressed. He’d been allowed to take a shower a day after his arrival and even though he felt weak cleaned the whole room in the morning yet he still felt disgusting and wondered if the feeling would ever go away. Meanwhile he exhausted himself with thinking about why he was taken here. His legs didn’t function properly, yet maybe the commander didn’t know that yet. He was weak.. Why take him? It made no sense. 

The door opened as Levi slowly looked up. He expected it to be Hanji with dinner, but instead it was Erwin himself holding the plate. “Good afternoon.” He told him, walking over to the bed as he grabbed the chair behind the desk and sat down on it, handing Levi his food. The guy didn’t really reply and just grabbed what was handed to him, digging in straight away. “Hungry much?” Erwin chuckled. Levi huffed and simply kept eating, pretty much ignoring the giant man sitting next to his bed. 

“So.. I’ve discussed your arrival.” Erwin stated. “Others don’t really seem to understand why I took you with me, which is why I’ll train you myself.” He said. “Tomorrow, one of our doctors will examine your body.” Levi instantly tensed up. He didn’t like the sound of that at all, felt sick straight away and stopped eating which didn’t go unnoticed. “I can stay with you.” “Tch, why the hell would you, I’m not a child.” Levi barked. He’d decided to never be vulnerable around this man again. “Anyways, once you’re back to normal health I’ll start training you. You’ll receive a proper salary for your work. I’ll make sure the paper work is ready by tomorrow night so you can read it.” “Whatever.” Erwin sighed and stood up. “Enjoy your meal.” He told him before leaving the room. Levi couldn’t help but feel lonely again as soon as he closed the door behind him. 

Despite his rude reaction the day before, Erwin still showed up when Levi was medically examined. First they made notes of his height, then his weight which clearly was too low. He felt very uncomfortable only wearing boxers, especially in front of the commander from some reason. His ribs and hip bones were sticking out, his upper legs had this massive gap between them and well, he just looked.. fragile. Not to mention he still had some remaining bruises and cuts from the times he slept with people. His right leg was trembling awfully, which caught attention. While putting his clothing on, he could hear the woman who examined him share her conclusion with Erwin behind the curtain. 

“He’s underweight, obviously. The bruises aren’t too bad they’ll fade soon. His legs however are going to be a problem. He doesn’t appear to control his right leg and wouldn’t answer me when I asked him whether they were hurting or not. I think however, that they do. Trembling legs are the second stage of them giving out at some point which happens to a lot of people underground. It requires surgery.” She told the commander who sighed, moving his hand through his hair. Levi had stopped putting his clothes on and was all ears. Would he.. soon lose the ability to walk? “You understand that the survey corps will most likely not pay for the costs of the surgery right? I mean, you brought him in here randomly and the people above you still don’t understand the purpose of it or the purpose this guy will have at all.” “I figured that out.” Erwin stated. “I’ll pay for it myself.” Levi’s eyes widened. Why the hell would he do that? “Are you sure, sir?” He heard the nurse asked. “These surgeries are very expensive.” “I’m fully aware of that, but this kid..” Levi silent huffed at the word kid. “He’s going to make a change.” The commander said. “And above all, he deserves a chance.”

Back in his room Levi was even more confused than he had been before. The nurse had given him pills for his legs to numb the pain on Erwin’s costs as he’d been forced to move into Erwin’s room seeing someone had to keep an eye on him because they didn’t know how he’d react to the medication. Levi, by now, had gotten the clear understanding that the people working with Erwin did not approve of what he was doing and thought it was utterly stupid to sleep in the same room with an 18 years old from the underground, but the man still did. “You can take the bed.” He said. “I’ll take the couch.” Levi couldn’t help it but feel a bit bothered, but he didn’t show and simply laid down on the bed as he’d been told too. The medication kinda made him dizzy and he honestly just wanted to sleep and not wake up for a long while.

Erwin settled at his desk and got out some paper work as silence fell. The room slowly got dark as it got dark outside and some candles were lightened up so Erwin could still read what he was writing down. Mentally debating wether he was going to ask the question he really wanted to ask Levi eventually broke the silence. “Why?” He asked, causing Erwin to look away from his paper work, a tad confused at the question. “Why take me here? Why pay for surgery?” Levi asked. “Because you are what this organization needs.” Perhaps asking questions was a stupid idea, because the answers only made him more confused really. “I don’t understand.” “Why?” It was Erwin who asked the question this time. “Why go as low as prostitution?” He asked, catching Levi off guard. Why would he ask such a thing? “It was either that or dying.” Levi muttered looking away. “I’d saying prostitution is a whole lot worse than dying. Why choose for it?” “Because of a promise I made.” “What promise?” “I asked you something.” Levi scoffed. “I’m only trying to help you understand.” “No, you’re trying to dig up my past.” “Just answer the question.” “I promised someone I’d show them the sky one day, but they died before I could. So I got into prostitution with the hope I’d go outside one day seeing she said that if she were ever to pass away she’d always be with me, which meant that if I saw it, she’d see it too.” “Loyal. My guess was right.” “What the hell are you talking about?!” Levi was getting pretty frustrated at this point. “You choose humiliation and pain for a promise you made to someone who passed away.” “So?” “Your goal was to fulfill that promise and you went to great lengths to do so..” “What the hell if your point?!” “You didn’t abandon someone you cared about that was already gone. So would you abandon orders that would save most likely all the people you care about?” Erwin asked. Levi still didn’t quite get it and kept quiet. “You wouldn’t.” He said, answering the question for him. “We need soldiers like that.” It made sense. Erwin figured out the moment he saw him that there was more to him than just a homeless guy who let people use him so he could buy himself some food. Levi wasn’t sure how Erwin could read people like that, but it got him here.

“You should rest.” Erwin said. “Surgery is scheduled next week, so you’ve got some time to get stronger a little bit. Once you’ve recovered from that and once you’re more healthy I’ll start training you.”

Someone believed in him. Erwin believed in him with some pretty odd thoughts as a reason and Levi couldn’t deny it felt nice.

Someone was counting on him and he wouldn’t let him down.


	3. Chapter 3

Pain. All he felt was pain. He just woke up and had surgery and his legs just felt like they just got crushed by Titan teeth. He opened his eyes slowly facing the ceiling as he noticed Erwin next to him. The man had made his ideas for Levi clear, but he still didn’t understand why he was so involved with the things that had to be done to start his training. For example, he’d been there for the surgery and well, after as well. Secretly, Levi found comfort in it, but he wouldn’t let his walls down. 

“And he finally wakes up.” Erwin chuckled. “How are you feeling?” He asked. “Like shit.” Levi simply stated. Sure he was going to be a soldier, but he wasn’t going to change his language for it. “I figured. Seeing you gotta lay down for a couple days I bought you some books. Some just for fun and well, Hanji wrote one about what we know about titans up until now, so I guessed that would be interesting for you to read. Might as well know about them before you face one.” Levi just mumbled something before sighing deeply.

“You’re really not feeling well, do you?” “They just cut me open, what do you expect?” Erwin sighed. His attempts to communicate with Levi properly failed over and over. The guy just wouldn’t let him in. Not one bit for a matter of fact. He watched the guy struggle to get comfortable. “Come here.” Erwin sighed reaching out to get a hold of Levi and put him down differently but Levi instantly slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me.” He barked with a some kind of fear on his face. Erwin frowned. “I just wanted to help.” Levi’s expression softened at that. “Just don’t touch me.” He mumbled. Erwin sighed. “As you please.” He stood up with that and left and Levi couldn’t help but feel like he turned Erwin down and hurt him in some way, even though the guy didn’t show.

He was cold. Evening kicked in as the whole room was dark and well, he couldn’t exactly walk and turn the lights on. They really thought this out. He groaned softly and put the books away. He was tired, yet couldn’t sleep. His legs were hurting again and he just.. wanted to pass out until he was better. 

He tried to get comfortable again only to fail and eventually just accepted it and stayed down, trying to sleep. The door opened quietly, but he heard it yet kept his eyes closed. Hanji had walked in this afternoon and talked his ears off his head about titans. He really wasn’t in for that again. “I know you’re not asleep.” Levi sighed and opened his eyes. It was Erwin. “Good evening.” The man stated as neatly as he always did. “Hmmm.” Levi mumbled. “Still in pain.” “Obviously.” “I can’t read your face.” Erwin shrugged. Levi didn’t blame him for that, he barely ever showed emotions. “I’ll get you some painkillers then.” He muttered. “I don’t need them.” Levi huffed. He knew he did, he just didn’t want to come off as weak. It was very tiring though, keeping this act up. “Well, then I’ll just get them and put them on the nightstand for when you need them.” Erwin said with his eyebrows raised walking over to the cabinet as he got out some pills. “I’m cold..” Levi said quietly. “I’ll get you another blanket.” He nodded slowly. He somehow found it hard to keep the tough act up around Erwin, he didn’t know why. He put a second blanket over him. “Better?” “Tch.. What do you think?” Levi huffed looking away. “I’ll take my leave then.” Erwin stated, walking over to the door. “Don’t.” Levi said, before even realizing it. Erwin turned around, frown on his face. “I don’t wanna be alone.” Levi spilled, looking away in embarrassment with a slight blush on his cheek. Erwin was taken by surprise and nodded slowly. “Alright.. I’ll stay.” He said, grabbing the chair next to the bed as he settled down. Levi wasn’t sure what to say. He never thanked anyone really, so he stayed silent. Erwin turned on a small light that Levi hadn’t even noticed was there as he watched the older man grab one of the books. Levi was still shivering and wrapped his arms around himself under the blanket. He doubted if he would get any sleep tonight. He’d tried to sleep this afternoon only to be disappointed. Silence filled the room until Levi let out a pained moan when he tried to turn on his side. He groaned, instantly catching Erwin’s attention. “This sucks.” He barked. “This doesn’t even make sense.” All his frustration about what he didn’t understand decided to come out.

“Why take some whore from the underground above here to pay for some really expensive surgery and make a soldier out of him when you can just, teach the newbies that join every year huh? You’re not making any sense! I’m sure half of them are loyal, so what’s your point old man?! You’re fucking frustrating!” He spat. Erwin simply sat there, listening, no expression on his face. “Since when can’t a man help someone out, especially when he sees a future for him?” He questioned. “Quit that bullshit! Who said I wanted help huh? Who said I wasn’t perfectly fine down there?! It’s not like you could’ve known by just looking at my face once!” Erwin sighed. “You certainly don’t know how to be grateful.” “I don’t see what I have to be grateful for.” “Well, in that case I assume you don’t mind me dropping you back down there first thing tomorrow morning.” That shut Levi up. Anxiety instantly kicked in. The commander wouldn’t do that, would he? Before he got the chance to ask Erwin left the room, leaving Levi behind in great fear wether he meant what he said or not.. 

As expected, sleep didn’t come. Especially not after what Erwin said. Levi was totally freaking out. He didn’t want to go back there. Obviously. Why would Erwin even say such a thing? At some point he started to panic. He couldn’t stay here, could he? Not knowing someone would escort him back tomorrow. It was a bit of a complicated situation however, since he couldn’t exactly walk properly. It was 6 in the morning when he decided that it was worth the try. He got up from the bed, unable to stop the tears from running down his cheeks as he forced himself to slowly walk holding onto whatever he could to get to the door that opened as soon as he reached it. He fell backwards in surprise and looked at Erwin with big eyes.

“What are you doing?” The blonde guy asked. Levi didn’t say anything, just looked at him, clearly scared. “Levi?” “D-don’t make me g-go there.” Levi stuttered. He couldn’t keep the walls up any longer. It was no use. “D-don’t make me go..” He whimpered, sobbing quietly. Erwin frowned. Levi had taken him seriously? The guy sat there on the ground, completely freaking out and repeating the same sentence. “You didn’t think I’d actually make you go back there right?” Erwin asked him, kneeling down next to me. “Hey.” He hesitantly cupped Levi’s jaw and forced him to look at him. “I’m not going to send you back to that hell hole. Got it?” Levi looked at him with big eyes and nodded. “Is it okay if I lift you and put you on the bed?” Levi nodded hesitantly as he felt the strong arms get a hold on him and lift him easily, laying him onto the bed and Erwin carefully put his legs right and then put the two blankets on top of him. He flinched a bit when Erwin brushed his tears off, but let him. He was shaking at this point. “You really don’t like people touching you, do you?” Levi nodded. “Well, I guess you have your reasons. Just know, I’m not someone to fear. I just want to help you.” He told him. “I’ll ask you before hand though, alright, before I’ll lift you if you need help. Or I’ll move slowly so you can move away.” Levi frowned. No one had cared about that before. Levi nodded slowly, accepting the deal. Erwin grabbed the painkillers and made Levi take him as he put him down carefully. “Try to get some sleep. I’ll get some paper work and make it here.” 

All Levi could do was nod and give in. He didn’t want to be alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment what you think of the story until now :D I'll try to update again soon.

“Breakfast Soldier.” Erwin chuckled as he walked into Levi’s room. It had been a week since surgery and Levi was alright, slowly, bit by bit, letting Erwin in a bit. His legs felt alright, but they had yet to try walking. Levi chuckled. He still never thanked Erwin out loud, but the look on his face said enough. He ate slowly as Erwin asked him if he wanted to try walking a bit today and Levi nodded with a mouth full. He was tired of being in this room really. “We need to be careful though.” Erwin said. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

So after breakfast, Erwin helped Levi sit up, then stand up as Levi held the guys shoulders and slowly started walking around the room with it. “Does it hurt?” “Not as much as the first time.” Erwin chuckled weakly knowing Levi referred to the time he tried to sneak out. “Well, you’re doing good.” Erwin told him. Levi couldn’t help it but feel a bit flattered. Someone was actually proud of him and it felt good. “Also, you’ve got some flesh on your bones. That’s good t-“ He was cut off by Levi’s left leg giving out for a moment as he caught him just in time. “Gotcha.” Levi nodded and slowly let Erwin lift him onto both legs again. They walked around the room a little longer, happy with the result as Erwin eventually put Levi back to bed. “I have a meeting soon, but I’ll be back tonight.” Erwin promised. 

Levi found himself actually waiting for the commander to come back and told himself that it was simply because he was bored. He managed to fall asleep at some point only to be confronted with his past in a nightmare feeling completely disgusted when he wakes up. Unable to walk all the way to one of the bathroom, he waits not so patiently for Erwin to return. “I need to shower.” He states as soon as the guy walks in. “Why? You showered yesterday.” “I need to shower.” He stated again. “You really shouldn’t. It’s not good for your ski-“ “I need to shower!” He barked, causing Erwin to fall silent. It was then that he noticed Levi looked kinda upset. “What’s going on?” “I just need to shower.” Levi whimpered. “I need to shower..” He whimpered again. “Alright, you need to shower.” Erwin said, carefully, just going along with Levi who didn’t really seem to be himself at the moment. “Can you wait five minutes for me to run you a bath? You can use mine so you don’t have to sit in a small space since well, the showers for soldiers are small.” Levi nodded slowly and watched Erwin leave and come back rather quickly. “I’ll carry you, yeah?” Levi just nodded, having this vague look in his eyes. He even let Erwin undress him completely without complaining and put him in the bath. As soon as he said, he instantly reached for soap and started to wash himself until his skin turned bright red in the time Erwin left to get him some clothing. 

“Levi.” He gasped, walking back in. “Easy there, you’re hurting yourself.” “Just get it off me.” Levi stated, still rubbing the brush over his skin like he wouldn’t be able to bathe in another month. “Get what of you?” “Their hands.” Erwin frowned deeply. “What do you mean? No ones touching y-“ He cut himself off when he realized what Levi meant though he didn’t quite follow the situation. Was he dreaming and still half asleep? Was his mind somewhere else?

“Give it to me.” Erwin said, slowly grabbing Levi’s wrist. “Relax, I’ll do it yeah? You’re hurting yourself.” He wasn’t sure if Levi would give in, but much to his surprise he did. Erwin started to rub the brush over his back carefully and made sure to go over every spot twice. Levi became less tense and eventually calmed down. It was as if he was slowly becoming himself. Confused, he looked up at Erwin. “What happened…?” He asked. “You freaked out.” “I freaked out..” He repeated, still confused. “I walked into your room and you demanded a bath and nearly rubbed your skin off so I took over.” “Oh.. Right..” He muttered. “What is this about Levi?” “It just.. happens sometimes.. I don’t wanna talk about it.” “Well you should. If this happens on the battlefield you’re not only a danger to yourself but also to others.” Levi kept silent for a bit. Was that what Erwin cared about? Just that this could ruin plans on the battlefield? Not that what just happened wasn’t healthy? He clearly wanted Levi to talk, but Levi already decided he really wasn’t going to. Not if that was the reason behind it. Perhaps he’d been a fool to think Erwin actually cared about him. 

“Screw you.” Levi stated, grabbing a towel as he stood up and got out of the bath. He still wasn’t quite steady on his legs, but walking small parts was okay. “Excuse me?” I should’ve known you’ve been talking shit from the beginning.” “What are you talking about?” “Don’t act like you don’t know. You only helped me out just now to find out what this is about.” “That and because I wanted to help you. If I don’t know what this is about how can I help you?” “You mean, if I don’t know what this is about how can I prevent it on the battlefield? And if I can’t, you’re of no use so I can send you back underground.” “Levi!” “Fuck off.” “You’re talking nonsense.” “I’m not and you know it.”

With that the small guy walked out of the bathroom straight to his own bedroom in just his towel, shamelessly passing the other soldiers. He felt hurt. It was his own fault however. He was the one that let his guard down after all. He shouldn’t have done that and he’d make sure it wouldn’t happen again. People that genially cared for others didn’t exist. They only faked it to get something out it, wether it be feeling les lonely or money. It didn’t matter. People just.. went through great lengths to get what they wanted and it didn’t mater if people got hurt or died. For a matter of fact, wasn’t Levi himself taken here to die? How long would a kid from the underground survive on the battlefield anyways? It didn’t make sense. 

Erwin seemed to have decided to leave him alone for the time being seeing he wasn’t visited that night. He wouldn’t admit to himself that he missed the empty space in his bed. Somehow, when sleeping in Erwin’s room he’d wake up in the guys arms, pushed against his strong, big, warm body. It was nice.

He started doubting himself. What if Erwin in fact did care? He had had no reason to take him above ground. He had no reason to take him under his care or pay for his surgery and medication to assure he’d walk for the rest of his life. Levi was… confused. Seeing people always wanted to get something out of the things they were doing, what had Erwin gotten out of this? More work to take care off, less money to spend, had he.. gotten nothing out of it? Levi closed his eyes and turned onto his other side. He didn’t understand. Everyone always wanted to get something out of their actions, at least that’s what he learned. It’s how it worked in the underground. Why would people here be any different? Could it be possible that people here were different..?

The idea that he ditched Erwin so harshly after everything he’d done for him without getting anything out of it himself bothered him. So badly, for a matter of fact, that he couldn’t sleep and got out of bed around 3 am walking over to Erwin’s room hoping it wasn’t locked. Being lucky, he opened the door slowly and slipped inside, carefully closing the door behind him. Erwin was laying in his bed, back turned towards Levi. He knew the guy didn’t get much sleep and he didn’t want to wake him up. He just wanted to let him know he was sorry. 

Ever so slowly, he walked over to the bed and slowly laid down under the blanket. He moved closer towards Erwin and grabbed his shirt, gently pressing his head against the guys back, taking in his smell that he learned to love. “I’m sorry.” Levi whispered quietly. Much to his surprise, Erwin turned around facing him. “It’s alright.” He whispered back before pulling Levi against him.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’re a natural.” Hanji gasped as Levi tried the 3DMG for the first time which was quite easy for him to handle to the surprise of others. Hanji, of course, had to be loud about it. Levi allowed himself to get back to the ground as he looked at Erwin, who had his arm crossed with a satisfied look on his face. 

This feeling set up in his chest.. A somewhat happy feeling because he knew that Erwin was proud of him and he didn’t quite understand. For so long he’d been on his own and he was used to not care about what people thought of him wether it was positive or negative, yet when it came to Erwin there was something different about it. 

“Seems like the 3DMG isn’t a problem.” Erwin said. “How about horse riding?” “I don’t know.” Levi muttered. Obviously, he’d never practiced horse riding. They didn’t use horses underground. Years ago they found out the animals didn’t survive long. Also, their food was expensive seeing it had to come from above ground like most of it. Most people could barely afford to buy food for themselves, so pets were out of option.

Erwin walked over to Levi to help him get the 3DMG off as Levi sank through his right leg again which still happened once in a while. “Perhaps we should wait with the horses until tomorrow.” Levi nodded, he agreed. His legs started to hurt and the doctor had been clear that he shouldn’t be moving too much when that happened or he might go back to his old condition. 

Erwin took good care of him. Levi still didn’t understand why, but he couldn’t say he really disliked it, despite the fact that’s how he tried to act. “How about a bath?” Erwin said, lifting him causing Levi to blush. “What the hell are you doing?!” Levi protested, moving trying to get back on his own feet. Hanji snorted as the others watched too. They could see there was something going on between the two even though they couldn’t quite describe it. “I’m going to walk you back to my room and run you a bath.” “Who says I want that?!” “Who says I care about what you want?” “You should.” “Why’s that?” “Everyone’s staring you asshole! Who knows what they’re thinking!” “I don’t care about what they’re thinking.” Erwin stated as he started walking. 

It didn’t take long before the bath was ready as luckily, Levi was given some privacy to undress. Eventually, Erwin still saw him naked though because he couldn’t get in the bath himself. “Erwin!” He called. “What is it?” The older man asked from behind the door. “I… I can’t get in the bath.” He muttered. The door then opened as Erwin walked in, lifting him into the tub carefully.

“Hot enough?” Erwin asked when he helped Levi settle. “Yeah.. Thanks.” It was probably one of the first times that Levi thanked him. Erwin could tell though that Levi was slowly, bit by bit, opening up to him a little and he likes it. “Are your legs hurting?” “Just a little, but it’s fine. I’ll just take another pain killer after the bath.” “Call me when I need to lift you out. I’ll finish some paperwork in the meantime.”

Levi watched him leave and allowed himself to relax. He felt.. kind of lucky to have someone like Erwin around. It had been a long time since someone took care of him like this. He still didn’t quite understand why Erwin behaved towards him like this, but.. he was tired of questioning everyone’s acts like he had been forced to do in the underground. People always did something to get better from it themselves but.. He didn’t suspect Erwin was someone like that. What the difference was between Erwin and the others? Erwin managed to make Levi feel save.

Levi took his time relaxing and cleaning himself as he eventually called out for Erwin to help him out. The guy basically had to keep him standing and dry him off, causing Levi to feel like a burden. He didn’t like having to rely on other people. He just hoped his legs would soon function properly again. After Erwin dressed him, he put him in bed again. “Are you good?” He asked, as always making sure Levi wasn’t uncomfortable. “Yeah.” Levi answered, pulling the blanket over him a little bit more. “If you’re in pain tomorrow you should tell me. I don’t want you to train while being in pain. It could probably cause complications as much as it’s uncomfortable.” Erwin told him, settling behind his desk. “I thought the 3DMG would be good to start off with.. But it clearly was too much. Perhaps we should just wait a little longer.” “I don’t want too.” Levi sighed. “I know, but I don’t want to risk your well being.”

“Fine.” Levi muttered turning onto his side as he sighed softly. “Hey, not training doesn’t mean you can’t do anything else.” Erwin pointed out. “Like what? I don’t think my legs are going to get me anywhere tomorrow.” Erwin looked down at his desk. There was quite the amount of paper work he had to finish, but if he did another 50 pages before going to bed he’d pretty much have a free day tomorrow. “I’ll take you around town tomorrow. We’ll go on horse. Have something nice to eat.” It caught Levi by surprise. “Why?” “Because you’re bored.” “But..” “But what?” “Okay.” The small guy mumbled. “So sleep. I need to finish work and you need energy for tomorrow.” “Yes mother.” Erwin chuckled yet watched Levi turn around. He didn’t see the slight smile on the guys face however. 

The next day Erwin started the day out by training the younger soldiers around 5 am and then, around 7 am, pickd up breakfast for Levi and walked back to his room. “Erwin!” It was Hanji who called out his name and soon walked next to him. “What is it Hanji?” “I was wondering, when I spoke to Levi yesterday he sort of admitted he was bored out of his mind. He seems interested in Titans though. I could use someone to help with my re-search. Could you ask him if he’s up for it?” “Sure, he has plans for today though.” “Plans?” She asked, clearly surprised. “Yes, we’re going into town.” “Since when.. are you going into town?” “Since there’s a bored soldier in my bed.” “How many times have I been bored?! You didn’t do anything about it!” Hanji gasped. “I demand you take me with you.” She stated, jumping in front of Erwin so he couldn’t keep on walking. “You’re never bored. You’re always working on progress on knowledge, so when you say you’re bored, you’re not actually bored.” He pointed out. Hanji sighed. “Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna go into town.” 

“Look, Levi might seem all tough, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a hard time adjusting to his new environment.” He explained. “He’s frustrated because he can’t train yet and I’m just going to take his mind of it for today, yeah?” “Never thought commanders did that.” Erwin sighed. “Not for everyone.” Hanji grinned. “I knew something was going on.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Erwin stated as he passed her. “You can’t fool me commander!” She yelled, laughing as he entered the room. 

“Goodmorning.” He told Levi as if the conversation with Hanji hadn’t even happened. Levi had clearly just woken up. His hair was standing up to all sides and he looked tired. “Goodmorning.” He muttered. “Did you sleep well?” “Okay. You make a good heating system.” Erwin chuckled. “So I’ve heard.” He choose his words carefully and was satisfied when he saw some jealously cross Levi’s face. “I brought you breakfast.” He told him, handing the plate over before anything else could be said. He then opened the windows. “It’s a nice day. The horse is ready already. We can leave as soon as you’re ready.” 

It was the first time that he saw a small smile on Levi’s face. “Okay.” He told the commander, finishing his breakfast rather quickly as Erwin helped him dress in uniform. It was the first time he wore it and much to his surprise it was rather comfortable. 

In a way it was kind of awkward, the way the commander was carrying him around the base. People were looking and didn’t know what to think. Levi had learned by now that it wasn’t usual for someone to be picked off the streets and recruited. He didn’t care about what others thought though. No one was going to take away his day with Erwin.

Once he was lifted on the horse, Erwin settled behind him. They first went through the market were Erwin bought them some lunch. Levi managed to walk a little and eventually found himself staring at some bracelet. Deciding he’d get it once he’d receive his first loan, Erwin was quick to catch up with him and notice what he was looking at. “You like it?” He asked. “Yeah, it’s nice.” Levi answered. “How much?” Erwin asked the woman that just finished business with another customer. “Usually 15, but for a soldier I shall make it 10. After all my son fights along your side.” She chuckled. Erwin then recognized him. “You’re Mike’s mother.” “Took you long enough.” She laughed. “How’s my son doing? It’s been a while since he wrote.” “He’s fine, doing a great job. I’ll make sure he writes you.” “Good. Look after him will you.” She told Erwin, who handed her 10 coins. “I will.” He said, looking at Levi, who seemed somewhat confused. “What are yo-“ “Here.” Erwin said, wrapping the bracelet around Levi’s wrist. “Why?” “Because you like it.” “So if I say I like that house over there, you’ll buy it too?” “Perhaps, someday.” Erwin chuckled. “Thank you.” Levi mumbled, blushing a bit. “No need to thank me.” He turned towards Mike’s mother. “It was a pleasure to see you again.” “It was. I’m glad you’ve found love Erwin.” She said, walking over to another costumer, leaving both Levi and Erwin in silence.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a long time ago since Levi actually could look back at his day and say he truly enjoyed what he’d done. Going out with Erwin had been great. They’d gotten quite some weird looks (and comments; “Don’t the survey corps have anything better to do?!” “Is this what we pay for?!”) but they’d both ignored it and enjoyed their time. Levi hadn’t even been able to pretend he wasn’t actually enjoying. Sure, he now lived above, but he’d never been to a market or seen a forest. 

It didn’t take long for him to find out he truly loved nature.

He heard Erwin shower as he laid in bed with a book himself looking at the bracelet the older guy bought for him. It was nice, brown and braided. He doubted he’d ever take it off. He never had possessed a lot in his life, so for him to own a bracelet was quite a thing. He never had money for jewelry underground. Erwin walked into the room with a towel around his waist, drying his hair with another one which was smaller. Levi blushed a bit and quickly glanced down at his book. 

“Enjoying the story?” “Kinda.” He muttered. “Say, I didn’t mention it earlier, but Hanji wanted to know if you’re interested to help her re-search Titans. She figured you’d get bored staying in this room all day.” “How am I supposed to re-search Titans when I haven’t even seen one.” “New soldiers haven’t seen them either yet learn about them to make sure they don’t get eaten.” “Which happens anyways half the time.” Levi slowly pointed out. “Sadly.” Erwin sighed. “Hanji wants to try and capture a titan alive so we can experiment with it, but the court won’t allow it.” “Then how are we supposed to learn more about them?” Levi asked. “That’s what we asked them. They’re just not fond of having titans within the walls and I can see why. However, they would be watched 24/7 and we know how to kill them so..” “I don’t like these rich people.” “You have all the reason too.” 

Levi sighed. “Sometimes.. I really wonder what humanity was like before the Titans came to the earth.” Levi admitted. “Like, what’s out there? What will we find if we go ever further behind the walls then the survey corps already do? Will we find documents, drawings, old buildings..” “It really interests you doesn’t it?” Erwin asked, sitting down on the side of the bed. “Tch, not really.” Levi muttered looking away. 

Erwin chuckled a little. At first it had been hard to deal with Levi when he tried not to let him in, but now he managed to get in more and more often the moments that he didn’t manage to made Levi somewhat adorable for trying. “Well, I’ve been outside the walls. It’s pretty.. calm. They’re no houses. Or at least not many or ones that aren’t in ruines. There’s a lake about 2 miles into our expedition when we leave North. It’s nice. I’ll show you someday.” Levi bit his lip, clearly not trying to smile at the thought. “Promise?” “Promise.”

Two days later they try horseriding, which doesn’t come to Levi as easy as the 3DMG. He’s used to being and working alone and now he has to work together to say so. There’s a living being under him, having quite it’s own will. It nearly kicked Levi of her back twice for a matter of fact. Levi was beyond frustrated by now. His legs were already hurting but he refused to tell Erwin knowing he’d call quits to the horseriding straight away and Levi had no intention of quitting until he felt satisfied. “There’s more horses you can try, you know.” Erwin told Levi. He was sitting on his own horse, trying to guide Levi as Hanji watched from the side trying not laugh as Mike had joined her. 

“They’re laughing at me.” Levi groaned. “Well.. It is a tad hilarious watching you struggle.” Erwin admitted as he looked at Levi who gave him a rather pissed off look. “Shut up.” He barked at him as he tried to get the horse moving again. “Come on you stupid animal.” He huffed running out of patience as he moved his legs, kicking the horse slightly yet she kept standing where she stood.

“Come on!” Levi groaned, kicking a bit harder as then all of the sudden, she started running at full speed. Levi bounced back and forth in the saddle trying not to fall off. Erwin quickly caught on and got a hold of the horse making her stop. Levi could hear Mike and Hanji laughing as he hung in Erwin’s arms, legs still on his horse. His heart was racing in his chest and he far from liked what just happened. “Let’s call it quits for today, shall we?” Erwin asked as Levi just nodded, having no intention of trying after what just happened. 

Erwin carried him over to his horse. “That was awful.” Levi stated, groaning a bit as he leaned back against Erwin. “Well, you survived. Perhaps we should try another horse next time.” “Hell no. I’ll get her to listen to me.” Levi stated determined. Erwin chuckled. He knew Levi would be able to do it if he only had the patience. “Sure you will love.” The nickname slipped his lips as he could feel Levi tense against him a little. “You’ll be just fine.” 

Levi, however, was as frustrated about it as a person could possibly be. With both horse riding and the 3DMG his legs started to hurt not to mention that he failed miserably at horse riding. He just felt like he couldn’t do anything and even though Erwin told him he would never send him back underground he still feared he’d fail and be send back there. “What’s on your mind?” Erwin asked as Levi walked into the guys bedroom. Erwin still let him use his bath tub since it helped him relax and was easier than standing in the shower.

“I’m just really frustrated.” He told him, actually opening up a little. “How come?” “What do you think? I can’t even ride a horse Erwin.” He groaned, sitting down on the bed as to his surprise, Erwin stole his towel and started to dry his hair. “It was your first time. It’s not easy, so don’t be so hard on yourself.” “I’m just scared I’ll fail.” “You won’t, you just need to have patience.” “How long did it take you to learn it?” “Not that long, but I got trained daily and I wasn’t recovering from surgery.” “It’s no excuse.” Levi sighed. “I’m not saying it’s an excuse. I’m saying it’s something that limits you.” Levi sighed and looked down, yet Erwin forced him to look up. 

“Hey. Don’t doubt yourself. You were amazing with the 3DMG and horse riding is going to work out for you too yeah? Focus on the positive things.” “Nothing’s positive.” Levi mumbled. “A lot of things are positive.” “How is this positive in the slightest. My reward will be going outside the walls and be eaten by a titan. May I hope he eats fast.” Erwin sighed deeply. “I’m not going to let you get eaten by a titan.” He stated. “Why not?” Levi mumbled, looking up at Erwin who hugged him from behind.

“Because you are my positivity.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Apologies for the short chapter D: )
> 
> Am I mean for letting you guys know that I already know how the story is going to end..? 
> 
> Please comment what you thought of this chapter and share it with friends! : D


	7. Chapter 7

Impressed. 4 months had passed and it was fair every soldier in the Survey Corps was rather impressed with Levi’s skills. He was fast, skilled and learned quickly. So quick that even after just 4 months of training he was allowed to go along on his first expedition behind the walls. He’d be in Erwin’s squad. The older guy had pretty much insisted on it and went through great lengths to make it happen. Like normally, he succeeded. 

Levi had felt rather calm about things until the night before the expedition when he started to feel rather nervous. He had no idea what he was going to face out there, but hearing the soldiers talk at dinner the night before it would be far from pretty. He slowly got up from his bed and walked over to Erwin’s room, opening the door quietly. The guy appeared to be asleep but Levi had learned you could never be too sure. By now, Levi knew Erwin didn’t mind him sneaking in at night. He did it more often than not, though he still kept his own room. There was something between them that neither of them wanted to admit because they both felt like it shouldn’t be there, especially with their occupations.

Levi slowly slipped under the covers, pressing himself against Erwin’s chest as he sighed softly. “Can’t sleep either?” He tensed a bit at Erwin’s voice. “Don’t worry, it’s normal. Most soldiers are awake right now.” He told Levi, wrapping an arm around him only to pull him closer. “It’s something that won’t pass.” Levi was well aware that there was a reason for that. A reason that he’d come face to face with tomorrow. “Are you scared?” “No.. I don’t know how I feel.” Which was the case most of the time and the reason he found it hard to express himself. “It’s okay to admit it you know.” “I’m not scared. If I died tomorrow I’d just be another soldier that died in battle.” Erwin sighed. “Every soldier is reminded Levi and they all had a purpose. We don’t just send people behind the walls to die, even though I get it looks like that.. To many people for a matter of fact.” “Still.. It’s not that I fear dying.. I guess I just don’t want it to be painful.” And it sure as hell would be if he could devoured by a Titan. 

He slowly moved a little to be able to look up at Erwin. “Will you promise me something?” He asked, hesitantly. “Sure, tell me.” “If it’s clear I’m going to die in some kind of situation. Kill me.” He stated. Erwin seemed shocked, but then pulled Levi closer. “I will.” 

The next day they got up rather early. All soldiers were busy. Some were checking their gear, others were getting the horses and supplies ready. By now Levi learned to avoid unnecessary complications when going behind the wall. For example, he shouldn’t use his 3DMG when it wasn’t absolutely necessary, seeing he could easily run out of gass. When a titan was spotted they’d try to find a crowded spot so they could use their gear easier. Also, they had special guns to fire flares, each color containing it’s own message.

Erwin made sure Levi remembered everything. Levi found himself noticing that Erwin seemed more anxious about him going behind the walls then Levi found himself. He’d fallen asleep after Erwin made his promise. After that he’d been calm. He trusted Erwin and he knew he would keep it. 

Levi was completely prepared already, sitting on his horse, the very horse that nearly kicked him off the first time he tried riding her. They’d become rather good friends though. She listened. As Levi had said; he managed to get her under control after some hard work. He wasn’t sure why he had really wanted this horse. Perhaps simply to impress Erwin showing that he could get her under control. 

“Are you ready?” Erwin was sitting on his own horse and suddenly appeared next to him. “Why wouldn’t I be?” “I don’t know. Most people are nervous when they go behind the walls. Not just on their first time.” “I’m not most people.” “I figured that out already.” Erwin admitted with a weak smile. “Just stay close to me yeah? I’m kind of.. nervous for you.” He admitted. Levi nodded and followed him as most people seemed to be ready. With Erwin’s squad on head, they made their way through the city towards the wall. Levi found that people were looking, actually stopped to look at them. Some children waved, laughed, screamed that they wanted to be like them and thought they were brave. Other people seemed to be counting as if they wanted to know how many people left so they could later figure out how many losses they had had. 

Levi ignored it as Hanji went to ride next to him. “I’m so excited!” She squealed. “Do you think we will capture a titan this time! I’m sure we will any time soon if not this time! Especially with your skills!” She said happily. “I know everyone has told you how scary they are by now, but they’re actually really beautiful. Well, not when they’re eating people, that’s disgusting, but apart from that they’re lovely!” She stated. Levi had learned by now that Hanji was totally obsessed by the beings that nearly killed all of humanity. She was re-searching whenever she could, coming up with the most ridiculous theories about them and would spill them to anyone who would want to listen.

Levi didn’t really reply to anything she said and just let her ramble as they eventually went through the gate, behind the walls. He looked around. Everything looked… Much more clean that it was within the walls. He didn’t see any old houses, just.. nature. Squads started to disappear left and right as they went to their position. So did Levi, following Erwin.

Erwin turned to look at Levi and smiled when he saw the guy looking around with big eyes. Then he turned back to see two squads on the right side disappear in the forest. Levi decided that now nothing had happened yet, he’d try and go over everything he learned up until now plus the plans made for this expedition. They’d get rid of the titans close to the wall on the South and hopefully, capture a Titan as well, which would happen in one of the woods nearby, seeing it was the perfect location for the use of 3DMG. Then he went over the flares. 

Red: Titan Spotted.  
Black: Abnormal Titan spotted.   
Purple: Emergency.  
Blue: Order to retreat.  
Green: Change direction of formation.  
Yellow: Mission has been terminated, whether successful or failed.

He just finished mentally recalling the flares when a black flare came out of the forest. “Yahoo!” Hanji cheered. “If we catch an abnormal it’ll be even better!” She said. Erwin turned towards the forest. The other squads followed. Levi’s eyes widened when they reached the forest. He’d seen drawings of titans, but seeing an actual one was.. quite something else. 

“Everyone take positions!” Erwin yelled. Were they already going to capture it? Probably, it seemed like it was the only titan there. Levi got hands on his 3DMG and ended up in a tree when he spotted two other titans heading into their direction. “Er- Commander!” He yelled. “Two more titans heading our way on 12 o’clock!” He yelled. Erwin called out to some squad and told them to take care of it as Levi watched how they headed into their direction. Horror soon fell over him when the squad failed. He watched them being devoured, stood nailed to the tree as it happened. It was all he saw for a moment. It was all that existed, until Erwin screamed his name.

Suddenly, someone grabbed onto him and pushed him off the branch he’d been standing on as suddenly he was falling. The abnormal titan had reached out to him and he’d been so off guard by the other two he didn’t even notice it. Erwin had taken matters into his own hands and was now falling down with him. 

He fell on the ground, on top of Erwin and instantly sat up only to found out Erwin had lost consciousness which caused him to panic. “Erwin..” He whimpered. “Erwin wake up.” Hanji and Mike landed next to him. “We have to get him out of here. In fact, we can’t continue our mission with our commander like this.” Were they saying that squad just died for nothing? Were they saying the screams he was hearing of soldiers being devoured was just so they could escape? 

“Then do so.” Levi said as he got up. Suddenly everything was clear. He flew through the air and cut of the titans hand that was holding a soldier, nearly eating him. After that, he cut the back of his neck as the titan fell and soon after went up in smoke. 

“Levi what are you doing?!” Mike yelled as Levi turned towards the normal titans that were still heading their way. He went to meet up with them and to everyone’s surprise, killed both of them within seconds. They’d seen at the training that he was fast, but this kind of speed was something they’d never seen before. He landed next to Erwin again as he tried to get the views of the body parts he just saw on the ground out of his head. “You can’t just abandon the mission. Let a squad take him back. Someone else can take the lead, we all know the plans.” “That’s against orders.” Mike stated. “What are you saying, that those soldiers just died for nothing out there? Are the survey corps really going back after 2 hours and come home with empty hands again like they have ever since they decided to go behind the walls?!” Levi yelled. He knew Erwin wouldn’t want the mission to stop here. Levi didn’t want him to wake up feeling like he send people to their dead and Levi didn’t want to feel like it was his fault because he spaced out and Levi saved him. 

“Fine.” Hanji sighed. “What are you saying?!” Mike yelled angrily. “We can’t do this! It’s against the rules.” “Too many people have died for nothing. It was about time that changed. Sure we can’t bring a titan inside the walls because the court won’t allow it, but at least we can capture one and study it for as long as we can and for once have some new information besides the small amount that we have.” “This is insane.” Mike commented. “Then be a coward and take the Commander back yourself.” She stated.

“Everyone! Head further into the forest!” She yelled as Levi looked at Erwin, praying that the fall hadn’t caused any bad damage as he followed Hanji and the others. 

They lost 74 soldiers in total that day.


	8. Chapter 8

Sitting next to Erwin, who was laying one of the hospital beds, he found himself restless. It had been two days since the expedition and still nothing had happened, Erwin didn’t wake up. Levi started to fear that he wouldn’t wake up at all. They hadn’t been scolded yet for disobeying orders because obviously, Erwin was the person who had the right to do that.

Levi hadn’t left his side from the moment they got back behind the walls. He hadn’t returned to his own room either, only left this room to go to the bathroom or get a quick meal, but he’d always take his food with him and eat it here. The doctor had stated talking to Erwin could help and that there was a possibility that he could hear him. Levi found it hard to talk however and didn’t really say much. 

The next day a soft noise woke Levi up from his day dream as he instantly looked at Erwin who was slowly waking up. “Erwin..” Levi said softly as he watched Erwin open his eyes, head slowly turning towards him. He frowned seeing Levi before turning his head to the other side. He soon enough understood that he was in a hospital room and sighed. “What happened..?” He muttered. “You fell and hit your head. You’ve been out for a couple of days.” Levi replied biting his lip. “How many losses?” “74..” Erwin sighed again. “What are you doing here?” Levi frowned at the question. “Waiting for you to wake up of course.” He answered. “Why would you?” Because I care, he thought, yet he couldn’t quite manage to say why. “You know why.” He sighed. “No I don’t. All you’ve been doing is behaving like a rude fuck since I brought you up here.” Levi frowned deeply. “What do you mean?” “Don’t even pretend like you don’t know. Let’s just say I’d prefer someone else next to my bed.” He wouldn’t easily admit it, but it hurt.

“I’m going to get a doctor..” Levi said quietly as he left the room. Soon Erwin’s amnesia was explained. He suffered from memory loss. Apparently, it was a week ago since he brought Levi to the survey corps. He’d forgotten all about him except from his unthankful behavior that he showed shortly after arriving here. He didn’t remember anything. Their time together, how Erwin had in a way changed him for the better. None of that.

Levi decided to stay away for a while and try to process the information. He did the things he had to do and went to training, only to see Erwin show up with Hanji short after. He seemed frustrated, then again who wouldn’t be after finding out you lost about 8 months of your memories? 

Levi simply continued with what he was doing. “What the hell are you trying to do?” Levi frowned and turned around. By now everyone knew he held his sword differently than was normally thought but they didn’t mind it as soon as they saw what damage Levi could do. “I’m practicing.” Levi mumbled. “Holding your equipment like that?” “Yes.” “Who the hell thought this guy how to hold a sword?” Erwin groaned. “Erwin he’s doing fine like that.” “I don’t care. It’s not the way it’s thought. He’s just trying to be a rebel because he doesn’t actually want to be here.” Levi looked down, not planning on showing his hurt.

After that Erwin made him practice pretty much all day holding his swords normally causing him to be exhausted by the end of the day. At dinner he kept making fun of him and he even found it necessary to force Levi to help in the kitchen just when he wanted to go to bed. Erwin was frustrated with himself and he was taking it out on “the brat he took from the underground who was unthankful anyways”.

As time passed Levi started to feel rather down about the situation. He slept alone, ate alone, did everything alone just like he used to do underground. He missed sleeping next to Erwin’s warm body, which was better than the cold bed he shared with his blanket and pillow right now. The doctor had said that Erwin’s memories would return over time, but did that mean things would ever be the same again?

Whenever Erwin would make a comment, Levi would just keep silent, keep his face blank and continue with what he was doing unless it was an order. Hanji tried to cheer him up at times, but she didn’t know what had been doing on with him and Erwin. No one knew, so no one could tell him and Erwin certainly wouldn’t believe Levi, so he didn’t bother to even try. 

It was after 3 weeks of insults that Levi had enough. It was afternoon as everyone was having lunch when Erwin sat down next to him. “Have you finished the paperwork that I gave you?” “No.” Levi mumbled. “Jesus Christ.. I gave you that two days ago.” “Well, excuse me commander, it’s not as if paperwork is the only thing on my to do list for your information.” Levi groaned through gritted teeth giving the guy a dead glare. 

“When I tell you to do something, you do it.” Erwin said, angrily. By now, some people were looking. “Why should I? Because you’re the oh so great commander? To me you’re just a giant asshole.” Levi spat, causing some people to gasp because that certainly was no way to talk to someone with a, in this case, much higher rank. “What did you say?” “That you’re a fucking asshole. Bossing people around because you’re bloody frustrated with yourself, who do you think you are?! Can you even call yourself a commander? Passing out once you hit your fucking head in the field, you’re nothing but a joke.” Levi stated. “Says the guy who I took from underground.” That had him silent. “Take him back.” Levi tensed at the words. “You clearly don’t belong here. You two!” He pointed at the two soldiers. “Have him change back to normal clothing, keep his uniform and drop him at the underground.”

It had been no joke. Within 1 ½ hours he faced the stairs to the underground. Hanji had desperately tried to talk Erwin out of it, even used Levi’s skills saying that they needed him in battle, but Erwin wouldn’t have any of it. Here he was, escorted downstairs. Maybe Erwin was like the others after all. 

The day light disappeared behind him as he walked down and looked over the underground city, lightened with candles. The rotten smell that used to be so familiar to him now nearly had him throwing up. Erwin said he’d never send him back here, but it appeared he forgot about that too. 

The soldiers soon left him behind as returned to his old life.

It soon turned out that the underground hadn’t changed a bit. Levi had hoped stealing got easier, but he was wrong and nearly got caught. The last thing he wanted however, was to become a prostitute again, yet after a couple of days he doubted it there was any way around it. He hadn’t liked it before, but.. it had been normal. Living above he’d learned about a new definition of sex. Love making, as they called it, when you got intimate with someone because you loved him. That thought made the thought of random men touching him feel wrong. He had a choice. Starve to dead or find a sex house and get a job.

Choosing for the second option he walked two blocks to where he found was located one. His memory didn’t let him down as he took a deep breathe and walked inside hearing the words he never thought would leave his lips once again. 

“Can I apply for a job?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd really appreciate more feedback ( :


	9. Chapter 9

Levi barely made any sounds as the guy that hired him had his way with him. He tried to turn his emotions off every time a new costumer walked in to have his way with him. He didn’t succeed most of the time and felt completely miserable throughout the whole process. The guy soon enough finished and started dressing as he throw some money at Levi. “You got a nice ass.” He stated before leaving. 

Since two weeks it turned out having sex brought another risk along with them. An illness was spreading around the underground that apparently spread through sex. From what Levi heard it was truly nasty. People started to bleed out from different places. His boss, who didn’t want to lose any of his “whores”, made them use protection, but of course that wasn’t always enough. Two people already got ill and were shipped off to the South of time where the military gathered all the ill people. The only reason why they were given free treatment was because they feared someone would bring it upstairs. Their reasons weren’t pure and it was disgusting. 

Levi had been lucky until now, but he wondered for how much longer that would last. Around 300 people had caught it already and 80 of them had died. Levi wasn’t sure what the virus exactly did, but the fact it was deadly scared people enough. He didn’t leave his job though. If he did he’d be dead within a month because he didn’t have shelter and no money to pay for food. Though he wondered why he still tried to survive. He felt miserable, disgusting and hated himself as much as he learned to hate humanity. So what was the point of being alive?

He looked at his bracelet. He’d learned to allow himself to be grateful for the time he spend with Erwin though he couldn’t help but wonder if Erwin’s true side came out after he lost his memories. Levi tried not to think about the guy anymore. It wasn’t like he’d see him again.

Happy that he was done with his last costumer for the day he started to clean the room and bed, then took a shower and laid down. He couldn’t sleep until his room and bed were clean. He felt dirty enough himself already. This was what he received for his work, 3 meals a day and a small place to stay. It still caused him to be hungry, but it wasn’t as bad as starving. He didn’t sleep most nights though, feeling cold and alone. He couldn’t help but wonder if death would be more kind than life was. 

Waking up the next morning he went to the same routine as always. He had his way with around 9 costumers that day, then cleaned and showered. Seeing he received some extra money he then went out to buy himself some candy knowing saving up to go above wouldn’t make sense anyways. Besides, if his boss found the extra money in his room he’d take it away anyways, so he might as well spend it without him knowing. He deserved a treat one in a while didn’t he?

After finishing eating in an alley to make sure no one he knew spotted him and would make sure he’d lose his job he returned. He walked into his small bathroom and undressed as he looked up in the mirror only to notice blood streaming down from his right ear. The next day he found himself escorted to the camp in the South. 

People were moaning, kids were crying.. It didn’t seem like a cure had been invented yet because everyone pretty much looked like they were dying. Levi was somewhat surprised that visitors were allowed. Many children only had one parent and they were actually allowed to stay with them. People were laying on the ground in straw like animals. Some talking, some sleeping, most of them not having the energy to engage in anything else but try and sleep. In the back he saw how people carried away the bodies of the people that lost their battle and Levi couldn’t help but wonder if he’d be next.

Around 6 pm in the evening everyone was given a small meal. By now Levi had caught up on the rumour that the military would take some people upstairs for further testing to hopefully find a cure. He wondered what happened if they wouldn’t find it. There, of course, were other ways to get rid of it as well, which was simply killing every person that was infected with it and knowing what people could do when they were scared Levi wouldn’t be surprised if it actually happened. 

Days passed, more rumors spread as Levi’s condition got worse at this point. He was bleeding more often. Also, his stomach started to swell which he noticed happened to more people. Some people actually looked pregnant for a matter of fact. Did that mean blood gathered in the stomach? It seemed logical, that way people could cough it up and it wasn’t weird their bodies rejected something that didn’t belong them. But then how did people die? They seemed to be in a lot of pain once they did. Over the past couple of days more people had died and more people got scared. 

Some guards from above actually came down to keep things in control. Rumors still went around but Levi wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. Some said the survey corps would interfere. Levi knew that they didn’t only study titans, but also humans to try and find similarities between both studies. Perhaps this could help them further, but Levi doubted it. Seeing this was spread by sexual intercourse Titans wouldn’t catch it, seeing they didn’t even have genitals. 

The next day came as all he could do was lay down. Moving hurt and he wasn’t even hungry anymore. He found himself okay with the thought he’d die here. It wasn’t easy making a living underground, but he’d managed to somehow get himself this far. He’d even seen sunlight and clouds unlike many others here. He achieved what many here could only dream off, so it was okay to just, leave this world behind and move on to the other wasn’t it? Perhaps it was. He even fought for humanity. Even though it was only one time, he had been part of it. It didn’t matter if people didn’t believe it if he’d tell them here, he knew it had happened.

However, it was Erwin who gave him that opportunity and despite the fact he’d treated him badly he wished that he could see him once more before leaving this place, before welcoming dead. He wanted to thank him, for letting him believe in humanity just one, for allowing him to see the sky, for getting him out of here and for not judging him.

He looked at his bracelet as he passed out.


	10. Chapter 10

“Calm down Erwin!” “How am I supposed to calm down?! It’s been 6 months since I sent him back underground and a bloody virus broke out!” Hanji sighed. “It’s only spread by sex, I told you that a 100 times already.” “Who says he’s not having sex?” “Levi doesn’t seem like the type to just randomly sleep with someone.” Hanji pointed out. Thing was that she didn’t know what kind of work Levi used to do there and Erwin did. 

His memories returned about 3 months ago and ever since he’d been looking for Levi. He first checked the markets and city’s hoping that Levi actually found a way to avoid going underground, but wherever he asked, no one had hired a guy named Levi or seen him. 

“You don’t know.. You don’t know anything about him.” Even though he’d been searching for three months and remembered what had been going on between him and Levi, he still had refused to tell anyone about it. Even Hanji and Mike who tried hard to help him. Meanwhile new recruits arrived and things got busy. Erwin could barely focus on anything. All he could think about was Levi and how badly he needed to find him. 

“What do you mean I don’t know anything about him? What’s there to know? He never talked about himself or his past. I get that you feel guilty Erwin, but people make mistakes and sometimes you can’t fix them. If you’re unable to find Levi you’ll eventually have to find a way to live with it.” “You don’t know what I know.” “What do you mean?” Erwin sighed deeply and moved his hand through his blonde hair. 

“I love him.” Hanji chuckled and sat down. “Plottwist. Actually, not really. It was obvious but..” She stated. “Tell me everything!” “There’s nothing to tell. I have to find him. That’s all.” “You don’t wanna share all the lovey dovey stuff?!” She whined, clearly disappointed. “I don’t have time for that!” Erwin groaned as he grabbed the map. “Yesterday we checked these area’s.” He grabbed a pencil and circled the area. “I’m going underground today.” Hanji frowned. “You’re not allowed too.” “You’ll be going there right, to take some sick people upstairs? I’ll tag along saying I’ll be helping you as meanwhile I’ll look for Levi.” 

“Fine. Just don’t get in the way of my re-search. I’ll keep an eye open for him as well, but that’s all I’ll be able to do. They’re counting on me. By that I have to keep an eye on the new recruits that will be coming with me.” She explained. “Fine by me.”

 

“I didn’t even know this place existed.” Armin said, looking around with wide eyes. “Not many people like to admit it.” Mikasa sighed. “People here live horrible lives.” “This pisses me off.” Eren stated. “What makes them less than us? Why can’t they just live upstairs? I mean, before the Titans invaded wall Maria there was more than enough space.” “It’s humanity dipshit. There’s always going to be the rich and the poor.” Jean said, catching up with them. “The underground has been here as long as the walls exist.” Reiner told them. “It’s a bad place to be, but not many people born here ever get to see the sunlight.”

Eren shook his head. “As if the titans weren’t bad enough.” “Well, we’re going to help them now right? Make sure the virus doesn’t get to more people!” Armin said, trying to be optimistic. “Only because the court doesn’t want it to get upstairs. They’re not letting us do this because they actually care.” Eren huffed. “Guys..” Everyone stopped and turned to look at Sascha. “Would it be… rude to eat a potato right now?” “Are you even serious? You took food with you without having the intention to give it to someone who hasn’t eaten for days?!” Eren yelled angrily, slapping the potato out of her hand. Sascha cried out. “What did you do?!” “I showed you that you’re being ridiculious!” Eren huffed as he started walking again. Sascha pouted but walked along only to see a kid about 5 years old grab the potato from the ground and take a bite from it.

“Here we are.” Hanji stated. “Please spread the food on the wagon and cheer the people up a bit. We’re looking for people who’s stomach aren’t swollen to the full point.” They couldn’t take the people who were in the worst fase. They wouldn’t be able to travel. It made Hanji determined to find a cure as soon as possible though. She wanted to save as many lives as possible. 

 

Erwin looked around the dirty streets. What had he been thinking, sending Levi back here, especially after getting Levi to trust him on the fact that he never would. He shamelessly knocked on every door and showed a picture of Levi. After 4 blocks he still went on without luck. The more of the underground he saw, reminding it what it was like, the worse he started to feel. That’s why he checked the market place above first, hoping that he didn’t have to come here and face what he’d done. 

“How do people survive here..?” Erwin mumbled to himself as he knocked on the next door. A woman opened it, appearing to be a bit intimidated by his appearance. “Good afternoon. Have you seen this man?” He asked showing Levi’s picture as the woman took a love. “I’m sorry. I haven’t.” She said. Erwin sighed sadly. “Thanks for your time.” He told her before turning on his heels walking over to the next house.. or well, as far as you could call it a house.

Hours passed as he eventually reached the west side which seemed to be the part that had it worst. He knocked on a door as a man about his age. “Hello. Do you happen to know this man?” Erwin asked, once again holding up Levi’s picture. The man smirked. “Are you looking for a good fuck then?” He asked, making Erwin frown. “What do you mean?” “That’s Levi, he works in the sex house. Or well, did, before he got ill and was moved to the camp in the South. He better recover. I miss his ass.” Anger boiled up as much as guilt did. This man.. This man just saw Levi as a doll. A doll he could use and abusive whenever and as long as he wanted. “Don’t talk about him like that.” Erwin stated, eyes dark as he eyed the man. “Why not?” What followed was Erwin punching him in the face. “What was that for?!” The man yelled right after falling on the ground, but Erwin was already gone, running through the streets trying to reach the west side of the city as fast as he could, secretly praying that Hanji had found Levi between the sick people already. Not only that was going through his head. Not only had he send Levi back here, but he’d also forced him back into prostitution. 

It took him 20 minutes to reach the camp as he kept running without a break. Hanji spotted him. She was sitting next to someone, writing down something on paper. “Erwin, what are you doing here?” “Levi is here, have you seen him?” He asked. “Levi is here? No, I hav-“ He didn’t give her time to finish her sentence and started walking. He pulled blankets off people to see their faces, made them sit up and when they turned out not to be the man he loved, he’d go to the next one on full speed. It was when he reached the corner that he saw Levi, curled up, shaking, arms around his stomach.

“Levi..” He whimpered, kneeling down next to him. Levi’s eyes opened slightly, widening soon enough when he saw Erwin as he flinched a bit. “Easy.. It’s okay. I’m going to get you out of here. Oh God, I’m so sorry.” He whispered, taking Levi in his arms. Lifting him Levi whimpered. He seemed like he had something to say, wanted to protest, but he was too weak to do so. Erwin quickly rushed to Hanji. “I’m taking him back. Return when you’re done.” He said. “I’ll take one of the horses.” She nodded, relieved that Erwin found his guy as she watched him run off with Levi in his arms. “I’ll take a look at him as soon as I’m back!” She yelled after him. 

Once on the horse all Levi did was make pained noises. The moving clearly didn’t make him happy. “Almost there.” Erwin promised him as they reached the headquarters about 5 minutes later. He got off the horse and lifted Levi again, taking him to his own room as he laid him down there. Levi didn’t seem to quite get what was going on. He was sweating, looked pale and confused and it only made Erwin feel more horrible. “You’ll be okay.. I remember everything. I won’t let you down okay? I know you probably won’t believe me now and you have all the reason too, but I will keep my word.” Levi looked at him with empty eyes and then drifted off to sleep.  
Erwin got Levi some fresh clothing and decided to put them on while he was sleeping. He could have a bath when he woke up and put on other fresh clothes again after that. Erwin just sat there, next to him after he was done as he eventually laid down and carefully wrapped his arms around Levi. His stomach was swollen, just like he’d seen by other people. 

He’d sent him underground. Thanks to him, Levi had been forced to turn to prostitution again if he wanted to survive. This was all his fault.

It really was all his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote too many chapters today.. Anyways, you guys have 3 new characters to read x) What do you think of the story so far? Please comment below! ( :


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